Wednesday, August 2, 2017

July 20th, 2017 - Ghost Stories of Jerome: “The Conner Hotel” & “The Blue Movie Starlet”

G & C Summer 2017
Blogpost 018
July 20th, 2017

Ghost Stories of Jerome: #1
“The Connor Hotel”


Standing tall across the street from the stone and iron vault was the famous Connor Hotel, a slim two-story structure made of brick that had been built as the town of Jerome was just settling in. Now before I get more into the hotel itself I should mention that it is impossible to delve any further without first addressing a little about the town’s history which was this;
Before Jerome was a city, town, or settlement it was just a patch of mountain that was considered to be of no importance to anyone and was therefore bothered by no one. That was until two bushwhacking brothers traveling far from home had heard rumors that the natives had hordes of secret gold and wealth beyond their naive imaginations. This was of course a lie. A distant cousin of the whole El Dorado misapprehension with the Conquistadors. Regardless, the gullible brothers devised a plan to find some natives, track them home, kill them, and plunder their horde of gold. Hannibal of Carthage couldn’t have planned a better raid with all the elephants in the world. So, armed with a couple of riffles and sacks with what I assume must have been $’s painted on like the Hamburgler they traverse the Arizona wild and discover tracks. They followed them to what is now Mount Mingus and start climbing. There was just one problem; the tracks they were following did not belong to any north American tribe. They were deer tracks. The bushwhacking brothers never found any natives to slaughter. They did, however, strike gold. Turns out, Mount Mingus was a literal gold mine and nobody knew about it, except the two brothers. They load up their money sacks with as much gold as they can carry and haul themselves back to the nearest town to celebrate their sharp vicissitudes of fortune.
            How do you suppose a pair like that would celebrate? Well, it was the Wild West so they went to a saloon and there they drank through every saloon they can find. As the brothers became progressively drunker they also became progressively friendlier, and who doesn’t feel like talking when one’s feeling drunk and friendly? The bushwhacking brothers certainly did and told everybody who would listen about their newfound wealth, where they got it, and how to get there. Before either brother felt the first agonizing cranial sting of a hangover the mountain was under siege of a gold rush.
            Back then, in American territories, if someone wanted to stake a claim they’d have to find a stick, write their name on it, and stick it in the land and whatever land you could see from your stick was your land. This was not a flawless system as anyone could burn a rival landowner’s property stick and claim they never saw it. Of course that would then initial the previous owner to exact justice for usurping his property and justice in the West was typically found at the end of one’s gun. In the midst of this chaos, and gold fever, there was one fortune-seeker among hundreds who was responsible for the gneiss of the city of Jerome, in a way.
            He was a gold-panner by trade but the gold of the mountain was inside in the earth and needed to be exhumed physically. All he had was a shovel and pickaxe. He picks a random spot in the diameter of his stick and starts digging down. A little known fact about mining is that after a certain number of feet you need to insert bracers so that the mine does not collapse on you. A gold-panner does not concern himself with bracers for he doesn’t even know what they are. The novice minor made it 15 feet down before he was buried alive.
            There was a silver lining to this tragedy (as there often is with tales of great fortitude) and that was the man’s wife had then inherited the mine and with it (and hired help that actually know what they’re doing) she finds copper. She sends it to the federal government, as it was a legal requirement to register one’s mine with a sample of what it was they were to extract from the earth. At this time, the White House had just become electrified by Tomas Edison, and copper had just become a must-have mineral for the electric-revolution and this copper was tested at 30% purity. To put in perspective the average purity of modern copper, it is normally just over 2%. It wasn’t long until Jerome had fully blossomed into the booming one-guarantied-fatal-mining accident-a-day copper-mining community that put it on the map. It’s no wonder that the more “successful” hubs of industry are bred out of incalculable bloodshed for a great white can smell it from a mile away.
            David Connor was just the kind of shark a place like Jerome needed. He build the Connor Hotel in 1898 in the center of town; a one-of-a-kind luxury resort with cards, hooch, and billiards dedicated to the first floor and 20 habitual rooms for the next three floors marked at a dollar a night. David Connor spared no expense.
            David Connor wanted his establishment to be the beacon of light in the vast emptiness that was the American west so he bought a phone for the building back when a collect call could bankrupt a sad drunk if not careful. The hotel’s phone number was 8. The hotel’s structure was made primarily out of timber.
            The first time the Connor hotel burned was the result of another fire in town, the Catholic Church specifically, which was further up the mountain thus resulting in embers fluttering destructively down over the rest of the town. As everyone knows wood is flammable, and so the entire building became engulfed in minutes leaving its patrons no time to escape.
            Ordinarily conflagrations like this would ruin most businessmen but David Connor was one of two business owners in the whole of Jerome to have invested in property insurance. He received a check for $14,500, enough to rebuild his hotel forthwith. David Connor spared no expense.
            The Connor hotel opened its doors again in the summer of 1899 and switching out lumber for concrete… on the first floor, the remaining upper floors were still made of wooden planks. Lo and behold, the hotel burned again, but this time those on the first-floor survived so there was progress, legally speaking!
            Again Connor had taken the liberty to buy insurance a second time, which he did, and used the money to rebuild the hotel again but this time he’d have to remake the entire building out of non-flammable material if he wanted to buy insurance for a third time in less than a decade. Begrudgingly David Connor complied and agreed to switch to brick at the cost of two-fewer floors. David Connor spared no expense.
            Thankfully, this seemed to work, as the Connor hotel still stands to this day and still open to the public though now with the proud proclamation it’s cohabited with a plethora of phantoms. There have been numerous reports from staff members and hotel guests of witnessing ghastly apparitions and unexplainable disturbances.
            One such report my fiancé and I were told had apparently happened not too long ago with a husband and wife who were staying the night. The husband was lying in bed and felt his wife get in next to him. According to the husband’s report he heard his wife say, “don’t be scared, everything’s going to be alright,” which is always a disturbing thing to hear while half-asleep regardless of the context. The husband turned over to ask his wife what the hell she was going on about and finds himself alone in the bed and his wife in the bathroom. The husband naturally asks his wife what she’s playing at but she’s been brushing her teeth so it wasn’t her. He checks the hotel door to see if someone had just snuck in and snuck out having pulled a fast one on him and of course the door’s locked from the inside.
            Our guide speculated that the husband had been visited by a semi-living memory, a spiritual snapshot of one of the hotel’s victim’s in their final moments; consoling a loved one as the fire claimed them. I suppose in such an inexcusable situation as imminent immolation what else could one do apart from imitating the run of a headless chicken followed by autodefenestration in a blaze of fiery glory?


Ghost Stories of Jerome: #2
“The Blue Movie Starlet”

The next stage in out tour of Jerome’s walking tour of death brought us to the historic Liberty Theatre, which was the town’s stage for vaudeville and silent pictures. Today it is a time-capsule of that long-forgotten era; standing forty-feet tall and made out of concrete though over the years it’d lost it’s paint, sign, and awning rendering it as a grey, faded slab.

The Liberty Theater


            Our guide ushered us through the first floor which once served as a lobby but has since become a gift-shop selling off-season Halloween decorations and second-rate gifts for family members with nonspecific interests. A stairwell led towards the back of the shop, which led into, the actual theatre part of the theatre, which was kept perfectly, preserved.
            The stairs led through a gaping rectangular-shaped hole in the second-story floor in front of where the skinny vaudevillian stage was kept, above it was the giant square-screen used for films. A digital projector was playing a slide show of the theatre’s history and (keeping with tradition) was muted. On the other side of the stage were rows of seats stretching up two more stories. The seats were in their original condition, which made them tiny and cramped to which no modern American could sit in comfort. Despite this we were brought to a row in the lower stage-left side and told to take our seats as our guide told us the story of Jerome’s first murder victim, Betty Gotly.

Inside the Liberty Theater




            Betty’s story follows a trend that’s all too familiar in the world of stage and screen. She was a pretty girl in Germany who made ends meet in the European “Blue Movie” industry. Blue movies were pornographic flicks of the “tame” variety, mostly showcasing women and girls performing silly acts of athleticism while in the buff. Betty’s movies primarily involved her skipping rope or jumping up and down on a trampoline. Not much to call home but Betty found minor success when the camera was on her and decided to take it to the next level. She immigrated to America and started her journey into becoming the next big Hollywood scarlet.
            Betty quickly discovered that hopping up and down nude was drastically different from actual acting, bombing auditions left and right until she finally caved in and found herself in the mountain town of Jerome. She got a job as an entertainer more in line with her previous method of employment but this time for a live audience.
            Betty became known as the Dirty Hurdy Gurdy girl, for her “act” involved an organ grinder cranking away at his music box while Betty immured on stage naked doing the Hurdy Gurdy which and if you’d like to see how it is performed ask a granny.
            One day while Betty’s on the job, a man in the audience recognizes her from her blue movies in Germany. He was a German himself and saw Betty as a famous film star and proposed to her that night. She refused at first but after weeks of persistent pestering caves in again for he was well off enough to save her from a life of the Hurdy Gurdy. In no time they became an unhappy couple of married alcoholics who developed a reputation for their excessive partying and obnoxious belligerence.
            Sooner they start fighting as couples are known to do and their fights become frequent. Eventually they have a fight so bad Betty leaves and retreats to the only place she feels happiest, the theatre. She does in for the night and watches whatever’s playing. Betty stays in her seat until the Liberty Theatre closes. All the other patrons exit except for Betty so an usher boy tells her to leave.
            Betty doesn't move. Naturally the usher believes Betty has fallen asleep and proceeds to yell at her. Betty doesn’t stir. The usher then starts shaking her, thinking she may have just had a little too much to drink (again) and discovers strangulation marks on poor Betty’s neck attached to a head that’d been dead for hours. Someone had choked the life out of Betty Gotly from behind during the show with no one was the wiser.
            An investigation follows suit with Jerome authorities questioning every citizen that had occupied the Liberty theatre that day. They arrive at one patron’s residence and upon opening the door he says, “I didn’t kill her.” Needless to say they hug him that very night.

            Betty’s dreams of Hollywood stardom were never recognized in life but fame has certainly graced her in death. Betty now haunts the Liberty theatre, and occasionally makes herself known in the corner of one’s eye or as a whisper in one’s ear. Our guide informed us of an incident where Betty had involved herself in a couple’s dispute where a woman’s belligerent male partner was being an all-around tool on a ghost tour some years ago and had pushed himself to the top of the theatre’s back-stairs to be the first to see Betty’s ghost. In a way he’d gotten his wish for once he reached the second story both legs of his had been pulled out from under him sending his face to the floorboards. Both his girlfriend and the other tourists insisted that the man’s legs seemed to jerk out on their own and upon hearing the tale of Betty’s murder at the hands of a dangerous man the guide theorized that Betty might have returned to exact justice on yet another dangerous man. Once hearing this, the fallen tourist’s face became pallid and he ran out the theatre never to return. The woman he was with moved on from their one sided relationship and has taken the Jerome ghost tour several times since.
Exploring the Theater








Tuesday, August 1, 2017

July 20th-21st, 2017 - The Oasis of Arizona & The Haunted Mountain

G & C Summer 2017
Blogpost 017
July 20th-21st, 2017

The Oasis of Arizona & The Haunted Mountain

The Oasis of Arizona

The initial plan for our lodging arrangements following our endeavors of the cacti fields of Saguaro National Park was camping nearby Jerome, AZ; a famous ghost town and halfway point to Bryce Canyon National Park. However, some ominous rainclouds traveling overhead was giving us grievances. We were set to arrive at camp just after dark and nobody (my fiancé included) wants to pitch a tent for two in the rain and in the dark, so we settled for the cheapest hotel in a foothills town just outside of Jerome. We’d never heard of Cottonwood, AZ before now, but as we road along its streets we had discovered that this was not some dingy local of languish like so many others we’d driven straight through; there were numerous restaurants of unique names and styling free of any franchised infringements, art galleries, cafes, antique shops, and there was even an independent bookshop with a hyper-realistic 1950’s grey alien statue displayed behind the storefront window. Purely by accident we stumbled into a place more reminiscent of an upscale coastal providence, a long awaited oasis of this American desert.
            Our loggings were further proof of this fact. We stayed at a little place called The Iron Horse Inn, which had (on our arrival) one available room with two twin beds but through courtesy and charm my fiancé managed to talk the management into giving us their very best room for an additional ten dollars which included a deluxe king-sized cloud of unimaginable pampering softness and all the bells and whistles that come with a room fit for a tsar. I’m always so surprised by how fascinated people can be when introduced to a traveling entomologist, I suppose they might feel in their hearts that by offering us their best space for rejuvenation they’re aiding us in our scientific exploits. Either way my fiancé and I treated ourselves with hands-down the best shower we’d had in weeks and in the morning felt as if we’d been asleep for days.
            The following morning was spent strolling through the downtown district of Cottonwood, helped ourselves to a lovely brunch that even the most snobbish Californian would call “acceptable,” and visited the various shops and galleries that lined the streets. Eventually we made out way to the independent bookshop adorably named, Adventures Unlimited Books. It was a quaint establishment comprised of two tinny spaces that had once been separate stores but were now conjoined at the center like a cell in perpetual mitosis. The left-half of Adventures Unlimited was just like any other indie booksellers in that it had a limited selection of genres and titles but all the classics were there and marked down to favorable prices. The other half was dedicated to the books and genres favored by the stores owner who was the son of the guy responsible for the entirety that is Ancient Aliens.

Brunch in Cottonwood, AZ


            For those blissfully unaware of what Ancient Aliens is all about, it is a sub-genre of conspiracy literature (later turned into an series of televised shows and “documentaries” on the “HistoryChannel) arguing that all of primitive mankind's accomplishments such as the great pyramids of Giza, Stonehenge, and the Petroglyphs of Saguaro AZ are all the product of direct extraterrestrial intervention. To put simply, if there’s an “unexplained” atavistic mystery aliens did it, no further questions. This half of the bookshop was exactly as you would imagine it to be, knowing whom it belonged too; there were DVD racks stuffed with low-budget paranormal investigation projects, idiographic texts relating to all manors of conspiracy misapprehensions from Bigfoot to who really assassinated JFK. There was even an entire bookcase dedicated to “alternative science.” Charlotte and I wandered through this section with our sides splitting from internal laughter and our eyes just as protuberant as the little martian statue in there with us. In the end I bought two books; The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut and The Princess Bride by William Goldman from the “normal” half of Adventures Unlimited. Amused and satisfied my fiancé and I set forth on the winding uphill road to the mountainous ghost town of Jerome.


The Haunted Mountain

Our venture to the ghost city of Mingus Mountain was especially momentous for my fiancé and I ever since our ephemeral trip to the ghost town of Garnet, which (if memory serves me right) lasted a grand total of 14-minutes. Charlotte organized the day around our visitation to the ghost town Jerome by signing us up for a ghost-tour. Which, (for those too peevish to seek out the occult and supernatural) is much like any other quotidian history tour in which a guide shepherds a flock of tourist through the more atavistic parts of town and goes through the particularly juicy bits of history the precinct has to offer. A ghost tour has all of this, but with the additive element of significant tales of violence, murder, and death. The kind of stories most towns try to forget ever happened, but Jerome is not like most towns. Jerome was a township built on the ashes of morbidity and has since taken it’s dark history with pride, transforming it from a copper mining town into a tourism hotspot for those drawn into the darkness; like my fiancé and I.
            The road one takes to get to Jerome is very much like the Sidewinder Jack Torrance had to take to transport him and his family to the Overlook Hotel at the start of Steven King’s chilling novel and Stanley Kubrick’s opus to horror cinema, The Shining, with steep inclines and winding switchbacks. It’d been raining for days all over Arizona so the clouds overhead were gray and gloomy and one couldn’t help but hear the reverberative wails of a phantom choir echoing inside our skulls are we scaled up the mountain.
            Protuberant homes and retaining walls made of stone blocks became more and more prevalent the higher we drove until we’d reached the township proper of thin, monolithic buildings decked out in fake skeletons and other off seasoned Halloween props. The current economy of Jerome had been shaped by its old citizens gone from this earth like the snows of yesteryear, but only in spirit.
            We arrived an hour early for the tour which was set to begin at half-past noon so we mulled around the shops in the area. Jerome was definitely doing fine, financially speaking, as there were many artful boutiques and galleries including a store that specialized in glassworks and kaleidoscopes. Another business we procured was called Puscifer and was the official store of a band by the same name. Neither of us had ever heard of it which was not that surprising as neither my fiancé nor I are particularly tuned to independent metal-punk or whatever the specific music genre was. Inside were a variety of alternative novelty items, posters, and clothing that primarily focused on the band’s mascot of a monumentally voluptuous woman with the head of an alien, horns or a demon, and naked body with a middle finger raised to whomever graced her with eyes. Charlotte ended up purchasing a gothic parasol in the fashion of Morticia Addams, which was more than overdue as her skin is remarkably transparent and thin. A purchase was necessary.
            Our shopping concluded with ten-minutes to spare but we decided to arrive early at the starting hub of the ghost tour which was inside a rustic sepulcher in the wall of a century-old block of stone that was probably as old as the town. Inside we were overawed with the abundance of sugar-skull incense burners and framed antique prostitution licenses.
                                    Yes, they were a thing.
                                    An American thing.

            Technically American territory at the time, sadly not any longer, but like your grandparent’s at Woodstock, Jerome had too gone “with the times.” Among these was a license for one, Tea-Cup Sallie whose stock-photo was an old-timey polaroid (no doubt taken with a little fellow hunched under a tarp and a giant flashbulb over his head) of a voluptuous mature lady wearing a corset that elevated her assets to such an extent they doubled as shelves.

Tea-Cup Sallie



            That’s not a euphemism; Sallie had positioned herself in such a way that a pair of porcelain teacups where shelved; had saucers and everything. These licenses were everywhere for Jerome had three theaters (for opera, stage, and screen), 18 saloons, and 24 brothels. It was the Las Vegas of the west before Bugsy Siegel and before Las Vegas (by six years exactly). You know you’re in for a good ghost tour when the first lesson out of the guide’s mouth reveals that you’ve been standing in a old sanctuary of wild-west hedonistic; basically Django’s Tortuga, at least that’s what the current town was selling. I’m sure if Tea-Cup Sallie were alive today that same picture would be on Facebook right at this moment and she would be proud and empowered!
            With that our guide (and a shadowing trainee) took us outside to Jerome’s original bank vault that had a horse & buggy loading station constructed out of stone and iron (for brigand protection) and handed us a pocket-sized ghost-meter. There was one for everyone in the tour, which was seven including the guide and trainee. In truth they were just electricity readers but we were told that ghosts conjure electricity spikes in places devoid of any electrical energy. Then the tour officially began:


                                                           Ghost Stories to come J




Tuesday, July 25, 2017

July 17th-20th, 2017 - The Cacti of Tucson & the Thing of the Desert

G&C Summer 2017
Blogpost 016
July 17th – 20th

“The Cacti of Tucson”


We left Carlsbad NM for New Mexico State University in Las Cruces, not to be mistaken for the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque. MY fiancé, bright as she is had made such a mistake which did not throw too big of a monkey wrench in our plans but did cause a slight debacle over where we would stay for the night; for my mother upon hearing on our arrival to Albuquerque had offered to us the contact information of her friend who lived in the area which was over three hours away from where we actually were. Regardless the day was still used to its greatest provincial effect where Charlotte databased at the universities’ entomological museum and I spent ten hours animating a walking (or crawling) cycle for a two-spotted spider mite image. At the end of the day we were tired and in low spirits but went to bed ready to drive to the University of Arizona for another day of the same. After a couple days of hard work, we were both ready for adventures outside the car, lab, and coffee house. On the morning of the 20th, after intense rain and thunderstorms we headed to the infamous Saguaro National Park, just outside of Tucson, AZ.
            Southern Arizona is most famous for its’ “forest” of polydactyl cacti of incredible size. As we left the outer limits of Tucson, my fiancé pointed out that the far off mountains coming in at our twelve o-clock were covered in what looked like giant cactus-needles. They were in fact cacti themselves, which only gave more validity to my fiancé’s response. I suppose a mountain covered in prickly-plants is for us what a single prickly-plant is for the insects 1/1000th our size. I find it funny that thoughts relating to perceptual size-difference introspection can be so habitual in desolate wonders of nature.



            Out of the available hiking trails we chose one of medium-length and difficulty (by Sonora NM standards) that was just over two-point seven miles one way. As our boots hit the dusty-red vestibule of the trail the sky was cloudless and the sun was monstrous. The first mile was by far the most challenging; baking in non-cumuli filtered UV-radiation. As we clambered we had to take breaks under pockets of shade as our bodies were in no way accustomed to this kind of heat. Nevertheless once we reached the summit of the first mountain (two-more to go!) the high-mountain breeze and occasional cloud passage made the rest of the journey considerably less arduous. All along our path we saw Gila Woodpeckers and Gilded Flickers roosting in hollowed holes of the cacti’s trunk, which made for some hellish mouth and eyeholes of an anthropomorphized plant-demon. Lizards were also in abundance like Manhattan pigeons though we only crossed paths with two distinct breeds; one that was long and slick more like a snake with toothpick limbs that loved jumping onto vertical surfaces and a little gecko-type with a zebra-striped tail that curled over its body like a scorpion’s that wagged when threatened. By the time we finished, our bodies were drenched with enough fluid Michael Phelps would win a medal in it. But our trip wasn’t over; there was still one more stop before we could depart.

Hugh Norris Trail


Charlotte realizing that not all things want hugs...


Enjoying the view


So many interesting and cool cacti!



Only a little exhausted from the heat...

            Saguaro NP, in addition to it’s famous CUS (or Cacti of Unusual Size) is also known for it’s collection of etched and painted petroglyphs, which are similar to hieroglyphics in that they’re pictures on stone faces. The prehistoric Hohokam created these petroglyphs. They pre-date modern written history making them hundreds to thousands of years old. I had no idea America had such permanent evidence of ancient persons from such long ago, but Charlotte was an anthropology minor so this sort of thing doesn’t get ignored. It wasn’t even a half-mile hike round-trip, but regardless it became all too noticeable that I had reached my physical limit for the day as I proceeded to babble like a drunken lord high off blood pressure and mild-heat stroke. Fortunately, milkshakes are a cure all so we were sure to snag some from a McDonalds drive through window before pedaling on to Northern Arizona. On our way we started noticing a pattern of identical billboards advertising admission to see The Thing: Mystery of the Desert, so naturally a detour was in order.









“The Thing of the Desert”


If you’ve ever found yourself on a major American highway, then you may from time to time detect an advertisement for one of America’s favorite tourist-trap variants; the mystery box. The mystery box is an outdated but irrefutably effective advertising technique used favorably by traveling showmen, con artists, and people with The Great as their unironic title. The concept can be boiled down to four simple steps:
            1. Inform public you have a thing without offering any indication of what it could be in any size, shape, or form.
            2. Offer general admission to see the thing for a mere sixpence a piece.
            3. Profit!!!

The mystery box a flawless trap that prays on the idle imaginations of travelers such as my fiancé and myself. Now neither of us would be considered dupable, and knew that The Thing was most likely a small personal collection of taxidermied fusion-monsters and aliens made from paper mache. The kind of thing you’d find often in an episode of Gravity Falls, and it was because of this fact that inspired a puckish urge in the both of us.
            As we made the appropriate exit we saw a single story steel warehouse painted in striped carnival colors that had faded over years of notable neglect. The THING had been painted over the stripes in enormous letters in the shape of a title from a science fiction paperback. The facility we entered was a tremendous gift shop for Arizonian-themed trinkets identical to every other gift shop in the state. A door for The Thing was a good ten paces from the sales clerk counter and admission was a dollar each and so we bought the tickets to ride whatever awaited us on the other side of that door.
            The door led out of the gift shop and onto a concrete sidewalk leading us with yellow painted Bigfoot tracks leading us to a single-story steel warehouse. A rectangular hole had been cut out of the warehouse to serve as a door. To our left was a collection of trailer-homes and too our right was a ten-foot tall wall of sheet metal boxing us inside the compound. If we are ever destined to get murdered in America, it would be in a place like this.


            We entered the steel warehouse following the Sasquatch tracks and found ourselves standing on one side of a barbed wire fence erected along the centerline of the structure. The entire room presented a strange and animated spectacle. On the other side of the wire was an old fashioned car, heaps of antique do-dads and furnishings, and an iron-barred cage full of wooden human carvings depicting medieval torture methods. It would seem that my fiancé and I had paid two entire dollars to see someone’s personal horde of bestial proclivities. The cars and antiques were benign but the torture scene was completely out of the blue. There was a wooden man getting stretched on a rack, a woman shackled to the wall being tormented by an executioner with a red-hot poker, and a woman with a bleeding back screaming at a man with an axe. The display was bizarre but impressive like a Wax Works exhibit or something you might see in a Rob Zombie music video, or Rob Zombie feature film for that matter.




            There were two more steel warehouses of this collector’s museum, which included glass cases full of little wooden figurines, more antique knick-knacks, and a hummock of twisted bits of lumber painted to resemble wooden-clown sprites that hung from the rafters with wire and string. These were everywhere and in every warehouse and gave the exhibits a perpetual cacodaemoniacal vibe.





A face?



            At last we reached the final warehouse and home of The Thing, which ended up being a coffin fixed to the floor with a sheet of transparent plastic separating The Thing from the outside world. What lay inside the coffin was the mummified corpse of a Chinese mother holding in her arms the mummified remains of an infant. The whole thing was artificial of course as the infant’s head-to-body proportions were way off and the mother’s face looked more like a Halloween mask; with decaying eye sockets staring strait up at us above a gaping mouth filled with blackened tooth stumps. Whoever this belonged too was clearly off their head and out of their mind and God bless them for it. This was exactly what Charlotte and I had envisioned as we stepped through that first steel tomb. Yes the place was ominous and cheap but underneath its coarse surface there was gold. Macabre fanaticism is an art style not lost on us, as we hope to one day fill our future home with just as many (if not more) articles that would be better suited in a cabinet of curiosity than a home for actual living adults. Needless to say we got our monies worth and left Arizona with matching expressions of youthful idealism.


Charlotte admiring The THING!



 George being special




We reached the 6,000 mile mark?!?!?!?! 


not going crazy.... we were already insane!